The Benefits of Conflict

Jo Kadlecek

Learning to Listen, Ready to Talk: A Pilgrimage Toward Peacemaking
by Harold Heie
(iUniverse, 2007), $19.95

Conflict always drives a good story. We watch adventure films not to find out how the story will end. We know: the good guy wins. We watch because we know the stakes keep getting raised and we want to see how he’ll get out of the next pickle. We’re fascinated by his ability to maneuver the gadgets, fight the bad guys, and protect the girl—all at the same time.

If only real life conflicts were so engaging.

Instead, most of us run from conflict whenever it enters our lives in the form of another human being. If a colleague is Republican when we’re a die-hard Democrat, we’ll tiptoe around the topic of politics at the water cooler. If dinner guests are Catholic when we’re staid Presbyterians, we’ll generally pass on talking religion at the table. And on trickier issues that confront us daily in the media—gay marriage, abortion, the Iraq war—well, forget it. These topics only seem to come up in conversations with those we know already agree with us.

The problem is our minds tend to stay dull, our opinions dogmatic, and our perspectives short-sided when we avoid such tensions. We need diverse points of view, if for no other reason than to keep us breathing.

Enter Harold Heie. Though his book, Learning to Listen, Ready to Talk: A Pilgrimage Toward Peacemaking isn’t likely to hit the best-seller list any time soon, it’s an important read for those of us interested in the process of living, no matter our chosen fields. And especially for those who serve in the academy—where public dissent is supposed to define the stuff of learning—Heie’s book is a helpful guide.

Learning to Listen, Ready to Talk is part autobiography, part analysis, and part vision. The first section, entitled Faithful Learning, recounts the personal influences and experiences Heie encountered throughout his career. From these, the next three sections are framed: On What Basis Can We Talk if We Disagree?; Can We Talk About Justice and Peace?; and Improving Christian Higher Education. Each points to the goal of moving beyond today’s “public discourse (i.e., talk radio) that is increasingly shrill, confrontational, and nasty” to a “respectful conversation that will open up the possibility of learning from those with whom we disagree.”

Though at times the writing feels clunky and redundant (in need of a tougher editor), Heie’s service comes in modeling the very thing he’s calling for: honest and respectful dialogue. A senior fellow at the Center for Christian Studies at Gordon College in Wenham, MA, Heie worked over forty years in Christian higher education at four colleges as well as with the Council for Christian Colleges & Universities. His raw storytelling outlines both the root of his desire for genuine dialogue and the context for his advocacy as he moved from professor of engineering to academic dean and finally, administrative consultant. Obviously, not everyone along the way wanted to join him at the table and Heie courageously—but respectfully—describes those sometimes controversial interactions with colleagues, including the time when one college president fired him because of “diametrically opposed leadership styles.”

What beats at the heart of Heie’s story, of course, is a deep faith that calls for a more Christ-like approach to dialogue. Drawing from Reformed, Anabaptist, evangelical, and pietist Lutheran traditions—all of which influenced his pilgrimage—Heie presents a framework of what he calls Christian lived beliefs, guidelines for reciprocity, mutual recognition, and equal voice in discussion. He contends that such principles can, in fact, foster safe environments for discussion, and dreams of such: “In the academy, the public square, and religious groups, I want to create forums for respectful conversations, where those holding to different perspectives on important issues can have face-to-face dialogue, with each participant given a welcoming space to express freely her point of view.”

Heie’s work has included business and professional people, political leaders, clergy, and community activists, but at its core, Learning to Listen, Ready to Talk is a call especially for those in Christian higher education to lose the hubris and robes we too often hide behind, in all our intellectualism and research, and to be real, human followers of Jesus—to love each other in spite of, and because of, our differences. Heie acknowledges that this vision for Christian scholarship won’t be easy. But considering the alternatives, it is crucial, because as he says, “Commitment without openness leads to fanaticism, even terrorism. Openness without commitment leads to stark relativism. Christian colleges should have as a high priority the creation of forums for respectful conversation that consistently model both commitment and openness.”

As Heie’s book chronicles both his personal and professional journey in a sort of narrative résumé, it does so with the benefit of hindsight, all while providing a clear strategy for healthy conflict. In the process, you can’t help but cheer for the guy, even if you don’t always agree with him. Which is the point, I think.  

After fifteen years of freelance writing, Jo Kadlecek joined the faculty of Gordon College in 2006 as an assistant professor of communication arts and creative writing. Her most recent books include A Quarter After Tuesday and A Mile From Sunday, the first two of a trilogy of novels. Jo’s web site is www.lamppostmedia.net.

Reviews, Character and Ethics, Leadership, Public Square, Fri 06 Jun 2008